If you're looking for big-time amusement park entertainment in the Boise area, you'll be seriously disappointed by your options. Unless, of course, you think that riding the P.F. Chang's horse or jumping sharp, pointy fences is the epitome of action entertainment, in which case you can do all of that you want in Boise and really live life high on the hog. For the rest of us who occasionally crave a huge roller coaster and all the other goodies at places like Six Flags, Kings Island, and Disneyland, the temporary and quasi-safe rides of the Western Idaho Fair will have to do. The rest of the year, however, we have Wahooz, and it really ain't half bad.

Wedged in between Overland Road and I-84 in Meridian, Wahooz is a so-called "family fun zone" that contains enough diversions to keep kids of all ages happy. If you're like the members of the Uncle Boise crew who are unfortunate enough to have kids, you could easily interpret the term "fun zone" to mean babysitter, and you would do so without remorse. Let's just say that if Wahooz served beer, it would be the perfect spot for dads to "spend time with the kids" while mom is away spending too much money on a cut-and-color. Maybe one day they'll get smart and put in a tap or two and maybe some OTB, but in the meantime they at least have Super Pretzels, nachos, and pizza to make things a little more bearable for dads.

If you and yours are the video game type, Wahooz has an indoor arcade that has plenty of overly difficult games waiting to take your money. For those who aren't into first-person shooters and other stuff you can play at home on Xbox, we've heard that their roller coaster simulator is so realistic it has been known to make grown men poop their pants. If scat-free arcade entertainment is more your style, you can play some skee ball or laser tag.

In our opinion, however, the hit of the arcade is the air hockey tables. None of the other games provide as much fun for your buck as air hockey, and the joy of beating inferior opponents (especially while playing left handed against your spouse) is simply unparalleled. On a side note, the ultimate opponent for me would be local celebrity Bill Buckner, and when I finally bribe, coerce, or convince Bill to play air hockey with me, Wahooz will be the venue of choice. And after I prove myself his better, I'll buy him some Dippin' Dots at the snack bar.

Despite the awesomeness of the air hockey tables, it's the outside attractions that make Wahooz much, much better than your average mall arcade, and much better than Pojo's (in my opinion). If you're the action type, Wahooz has the area's best slick-track go-kart racing, so you can fulfill all your Nascar fantasies without subjecting yourself to old left-turn jokes, rampant corporate sponsorship, and people from Alabama. And for those of us who don't feel the need for so much speed or just want to try out the whole go-kart thing, there's a beginner track that's just one step above a Sunday drive. That track is shorter and doesn't feature any fancy curves, but you'll still get 100% of the noise, motor exhaust, and tires around the perimeter, so you'll feel like a regular Buckshot Jones and you'll go about as fast as he did too.

Wahooz also has two 18-hole mini-golf courses, each full of shady trees, water features, and interesting obstacles. The putting surfaces are in excellent shape, and it's challenging enough to make even good putters work for their birdies. Just to keep things interesting, there's a magic wheel at the tee area of most holes, and each player can spin it to add a little wrinkle to each hole, such as the One Hand Putt and the Granny Putt. The only problem with the mini golf, especially on the west set of 18, is that it is loud. Not loud from the rugrat golfers, mind you, but loud from the nearby interstate traffic and the nearby go-kart races, so if you think you're Tiger Woods and need complete silence while you putt, you'll probably want to bring some of them noise-canceling headsets.

During the really warm weather, the bumper boats are a fun way to cool off, and they sure beat sitting in the kiddie pool in your back yard. The crazy folks at Wahooz have even been known to throw an unusually huge beach ball into the pool and let everyone have at it. Imagine how fun it would've been to have that beach ball at those old fraternity pool parties.

If your kids are too small to enjoy the video games and outdoor entertainment, I highly recommend buying them a $2.99 unlimited ticket to the Hampster Habitat (AKA Kiddie Cove) and letting them run, climb, slide, swing, and shimmy until they collapse. The whole area is fenced off to keep them little buggers contained, and you can plop yourself in the seating area and play FarmVille on your iPhone or send lewd text messages to your mistress or significant other. Again, the whole situation could be much improved with some adult beverages and maybe a stripper pole.

If all the arcade games, mini golf, bumper boats, and go-karts aren't enough to keep you amused, go to the batting cages and swing at balls until you croak. If that doesn't succeed in tuckering you out and you still haven't run out of money, consider jogging to Lagoon. You deserve it, you glutton.