You know what we need around here? A Hall & Oates tribute band. An H&O tribute band would've been perfect at my birthday party last year, but the only one I could find was in Atlanta and I guess it shouldn't surprise me that they couldn't leave their day jobs to fly up here.

I hear their guitar player puts on a fake mustache and they even have a real Amish bass player who looks like that guy who played for Hall & Oates and Saturday Night Live. That would've rocked.

There's supposedly some good H&O tribute bands in Australia, but I think the accent would really mess up "Your Kiss Is on My List", and those brown-eyed mullets would probably drink all the beer and hit on my girlfriend. You'd think there would be an H&O tribute band in Seattle or Portland. People in the Northwest really know good music, and the band could make a quick trip to Boise no problem. Alas, no dice.

I'll be honest. I would've even settled for a Dexy's Midnight Runners tribute band, but the only one is in England. I bet they wouldn't make such a long trip for only one gig. Maybe I could get with the local club owners and set up a Tour of Boise kind of thing for them. I bet they could sell out four or five shows in this valley. Who doesn't love "Come On Eileen"? Or what about a Supertramp tribute band? There's one in Italy, and maybe I could convince them to come to the States and kick off their American tour by playing my birthday this year.

They might even let me go on tour with them. I could be a roadie and my girlfriend could be a groupie. Just a fan groupie, not a sex groupie. I wouldn't really be cool if my girlfriend was a sex groupie for a Supertramp tribute band.